Overcoming Body Confidence Issues in my Relationship

“Why are you attracted to me? This was a question I asked Ben about a year after we started dating. I couldn't understand how someone with a "perfect body" would be attracted to me. Wouldn't he be much happier with someone who was thinner and more athletic like him? For a long time, Ben's body was something that caused me to feel very self-conscious and brought out a lot of my own insecurities. He told me that he simply found my body type attractive and beyond that, he was attracted to me as a person and that had nothing to do with my body at all. As I found my confidence and learned to accept my body the less Ben's appearance made me feel inferior. I can now celebrate his achievements and when he meets his health and fitness goals without thinking negatively about myself. It’s crazy how as women we think we don’t deserve a certain person because of our appearance.”

After I posted this message on my Instagram, the comments and messages started flooding in. All types of women opened up and expressed that they have felt the exact same way. I dove a little deeper into this topic when I chatted with Shape Magazine.

Looking back, Langas says she realizes how tainted her relationship with her body really was. “At the time I was incredibly insecure,” she tells Shape. “I did not find myself attractive so I didn’t understand how a man could find me attractive. In my head, I believed that a woman who was thinner or more athletic than me was better than me because growing up we are taught that’s what is deemed as attractive and desirable.

When it comes to body confidence issues in relationships I think it comes down to understanding that love doesn't know size. Look for someone who loves ALL aspects of who you are from the inside out and don't let your insecurities get in the way. You are worthy of passionate love no matter if you are a size 2 or size 22.

I will be honest, that this was not an easy post for me to write because I am still trying to understand a lot of things about this topic. Just the other day, Ben ordered a salad and I ordered a burger and I felt very insecure about for a moment. Why does Ben's health choices have a mental effect on me? I still don't have the answer to this one and it's something I want to do more research on. I have come a long way in not letting Ben's body make me feel self-conscious about mine but it ia journey and there is always more work to be done!

If you have any thoughts on these topics please continue the conversation in the comments below!


Shop the post: